Anybody who knows me well knows about “Girlfriend†– otherwise known as my black Lab mix who was just an angel. She had her own neighborhood following; children from the middle school across the street would give her bits of their lunch through the iron fence just to watch her catch flung pieces of bologna sandwiches mid-air. The little pre-school kids would singsong her name as they passed to get her to come to the gate so they could giggle at her doing the happy dance. Even the mail man—yes, the mail man, would stop at the gate, first, just to reach through it to pet her. That says it all. Girlfriend was just that to everyone, a girlfriend, except to the squirrels and sparrows and local cats foolish enough to slip through our yard on a dash (who she gave a run for their money.) But her disposition was kind and gentle, just a big ole loveable pooch with a thumping tail wag. She’d roll over on anyone’s feet who would pet her exposed belly – her whole demeanor said “love me and you’ll get as good as you give from me.â€
I could always tell who was at my door by the bark—as my writing den is up three stories above the front yard… all I had to do was listen to the bark and whomever was interacting with the dog along the front side yard, and I could tell whether or not it was Fed Ex, UPS, family, or regular mail without looking out the window. How’s that for old school technology (smile)? The only people she ever threw a fit about were the trash men, and I guess it had to do with them “taking†something that I had set out and throwing it all around. I think she thought that was too rude and objected with ferocity. I couldn’t blame her—more than once they’d pissed me off, too, with the mess they’d left… but I digress. However, delivery men she liked, because they always came bearing gifts for Mom (me) and Mom always said thank you and joked with them, so they were cool in her eyes, I suppose.
Girlfriend was an integral part of my family. We got her as a puppy not long after we all moved into our home… which was 15 years ago. She was a welcomed addition to a blended family that consisted of four kids all under the age of ten. My daughter was five, my stepson was two, and my two stepdaughters were nine and ten. Running, laughing, happy barks—or the wail of a kid whose toy got sacrificed to a teething pup makes me smile as I type this blog. She was the first to the door with a HUGE dog smile and then did military rotations to check on every child before settling herself down at night. I wrote with her hunting bleat in the background… it was white noise, like the happy sounds of kids squabbling. If you could hear them, they were all right (LOL)—that was my philosophy.
Then, one by one, kids went off to college and a marriage tanked… but “my girlfriend†was still there to put her head in my lap, to welcome me home at all hours of the night when my flights got in… or to be that patient sentinel up at my strange writer’s hours guarding my office as I wrote about vampires and werewolves and things that went bump in the night. She was there, always there.
Now she’s not and I confess to be at a loss this morning. My children are at a loss. Something precious, a last of an era, a touchstone for good times, quietly slept away at the vet’s yesterday as the only humane thing to do. The vet wept with us, as did the whole staff.
What started as a little cough was then diagnosed to be pneumonia in my old girl… but even that was optimistic. We bombarded the dreaded condition with antibiotics… but she continued to decline. Then the doctor said it was a tumor in her lung… which spread until my feisty old lady couldn’t stand, struggled to breathe, and lost her appetite.
When I got in from Chicago, I knew. She didn’t come to the door, just looked up from where she laid and tried to wag her tail. I went to her and wept because I knew… and my daughter kept trying to give her treats to get her to stand up and I just shook my head when she couldn’t be moved by the temptation of Beggin’ Strips.
It’s hard to teach children the cycle of life when you don’t want to even acknowledge it yourself. I had to tell four young people that this was it—all of whom wailed in their own way a resounding “No…. Mom, she’ll get better!†I don’t know how many of you are old enough to remember the scene from the movie “Old Yeller†but OMG… we had our own going on over here in Philly. It wasn’t just my four kids, but it was also their friends… everyone who came to parties and sleep-overs at my house were a part of the Girlfriend brigade. Then there’s the rest of the kids in the family… nine little boys, again, under the age of 10 (my cousins kids), whose Moms were prolonging getting a dog because I had one, and who all played with that dog and loved to visit Aunt Leslie so they could throw a ball with Girlfriend…
Seems so silly to be so torn up about this, but I admit that I am. She represented a lot to me… love, kindness, family, constancy. My soft spot. Yesterday I walked into the house with her collar in my hand and like a nut, almost whistled for her. Habits die hard, reality be damned. When my feet hit the floor this morning I started down the steps to check on her to be sure she was all right, before I remembered… oh, yeah… right. She’s gone.
So, bear with me as I process this loss. I know I have a wonderful dog spirit guarding my footfalls now, but I still miss her.
Much love & Light, Leslie!
Tags: author blog, dog, Girlfriend, LA Banks, Leslie Esdaile Banks, pet
Leslie, I am so sorry for your loss. It is truely a tragedy when one close to the family dies. And who could have been closer to you then Girlfriend. As always I will have you in my prayers. Love & Light Always,
Fallon
My prayers are with you and yours during this turbulent time. Love lost is a hurting thing. You have lost a very special and precious part of your family. I ask that the Lord above heal that special spot in your heart & soul you held for Girlfriend.
Hey Leslie so sorry to hear about Girlfriend.
I understand where you’re coming from…we have Apooo and have had him for 8 years. I can’t imagine what it will be like not to have him in our lives.
Take care and know that Girlfriend has gone to heaven because ALL DOGS DO.
xoxo
Leslie my heart is breaking for you. I know how it feels to lose a member of the family and it’s no easier just because they’re a “pet”. Family is family and you mourn for them just the same.
Sending light and love your way.
Oh Leslie, I’m so sorry. I sit hear crying not only for you, but for myself as well. I have a 14 year old Greyhound, and she has been declining for a few months now. I will be moving in a month or so across country and I can’t bear the thought of putting her through the move. I have been avoiding the enivitable for a while now. She still does the happy dance when I come home, albeit, slower and not as long. I have had her for 7 years, she is my first dog, and I have no idea how I will do without her. God Bless you and your family as you try to find meaning in this vaccume that has been created.
You have my love always,
Jackie
Leslie, I am so sorry for your loss…I remember when my Rex left my family almost 20 yrs ago and I still think of him often. Those wonderful memories of loved family members always stay with you…because that is exactly who they were…loved family members. God bless Girlfriend and you and your family.
Hey Leslie,
Nothing like a beloved girlfriend, and she sounded like a jewel. Honey, that girlfriend will be with you always… and you KNOW THIS.
Love you and BIG HUGS,
Stephanie
Leslie,
Love is love whether it is fur covered and slobbering or rolling around belly exposed and 4 paws up happy! My thoughts and prayers are with you. She loved and respected you and was loved and respected by you. Honor her memory – her spirit lives on – take time to heal and be well! Blessings and peace be with you!
Big hug, honey.
You have my deepest condolences.
Remember the “Rainbow Bridgeâ€
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Author unknown
I’m so sorry for your loss…I know how you feel…I had an lab mixed with a chow chow and we called him MAX…He passed away a couple of years ago and I understand it’s like lossing apart of your family..Sending you blessing and healing energy your way..
I am so sorry to hear about “Girlfriend.” I am a dog lover and I definitely know how it feels to lose a part of your family. I had a mixed pit-bull named Atrocious who was hit by a car. I left him at the vet hoping and praying that the vet would call me with good news that my friend & protector would be alright but he didn’t pull through. I cried for days and the pain didn’t stop until a few years ago when I got my monster rottwieller, Temtrise. I will always love Atrocious and I believe he is watching over me, just like your “Girlfriend” is watching over you. Time does not eliminate the pain it just makes it easier to manage. Peace, love, and forever be Blessed…
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of “Girlfriend.” My wife and I lost our beloved Brian shortly after we moved in together and though I had only been around the beloved chocolate lab for a couple of years, we both wept inconsolably when we had to do the “humane thing.” We have four dogs now and every single one of them is loved like they are our children. My best wishes to you and sympathy on your loss.
Leslie, I’m sending you a big hug. I know it’s devastating when you loose a pet. They look after you in so many ways. When my mother’s little dog, Yuri, died I just cried. She would never again sneak into the guest room and curl up in the small of back while I slept. Waking up those mornings felt just like being loved by a friend and I know Girlfriend meant that and so much more to you. Love and hugs.
Big Hugs and positive energy.
My heart is with you. I am going through the same. My beloved cat who has seen me through so much heartache and happiness is extremely sick. Do to a layoff at work I am unable to treat him and husband and I came to the decision the most humane thing to do is put him to sleep. I am fighting this because my cat is my baby but in my heart I hate seeing him suffer so badly and know this is right.
Hugs to you and love
My heart and soul goes out to you and yours!! I am so sorry to hear that Girlfriend has moved on to the big dog park in the sky. I know everyone will miss, her but you’ll always have her memory. And in a way, she’ll live forever in this blog. All your fans will read this and think about how much she means to you (and us)!! Hold her memories tight in your heart and never let them go, remember to cry when you need to, but always dwell on the good times you all shared.
Kisses, Huggs and Well Wishes
I am so sorry for your lost. Big Philly Hug!
My heart and prayers go out to you and your remaining family. I’ve been where you are now, it’s been five years and yes we have a new baby (Schnoodles, Poodle Schnauzer Mix). I swear I cried over Patience (Bichon Frise, Boy) more than my childeren did. You don’t forget the four legged family members, and yes that just what they are. They steal your heart just like they do food off your plate when you’re not looking, but when the hurt dulls I promise you and the rest of the family will laugh yourselves silly thinking about all the love and mischief Girlfriend got in to. So morn your baby all you need to. She was loved, family, and deserves to be memoralized, even if it’s just in your heart.
Mama L, my dad has always been a dog lover, and I get that from him. I’m so sorry you lost your Girlfriend, but I am glad that she was able to bring you joy throughout the years. Not just to you, but to your family and neighborhood as well. EVEN the mailman, now you know that’s deep! Even as I type this, my dad is telling me about Major, his favorite childhood dog, a German Sheaperd that they had to put down because he got violent in his old age. Dogs have always been family members, so you go ahead and grieve for Girlfriend. I know she will be missed.
Leslie,
I’m so heartbroken for you over Girlfriend! I lost Kiki last Labor Day and it has been a great loss. I believe we as dog lovers are so lucky to have had such loyal and lively companions and to have known such great souls. Dogs are no less than amazing with their show of strength and grace in the face of illness. I was just telling my sister Cree about Girlfriend last weekend.
Much peace and blessings to you and yours.
Wendy
Leslie… I dont know you personally… but I know your pain…. I too have had a bichon in my life for 17 years… and lost her on Jan. 1st 2010… you are so right.. it wasnt just a dog, it was what she brought to you and your family… she made life better while she was in it…. and with all your hardships, she was the one constant thing that you could rely on…… I too was divorced and had my daughter leave for college all in the same year. I felt like I lost a limb of my body…. but when I came home from working two jobs, my bichon Duchess, was waiting for me , and was my constant friend , never taking her for granted….. I finally know now how much it means to have someone to be with you unconditionally, throught good times and bad times… and you have to know how lucky you were to have had that in your life…. I wish you all the best, and you will be okay… because you loved someone till the very end…… something we can all learn a big lesson from… you will be okay… wish you all the best…. LJ